It happens severally that walking through a new environment, I suddenly lose my legs temporarily, I just wouldn’t know how exactly to walk especially when there is a cluster of unfamiliar faces probably just having fun or discussing a serious issue as it concerns them. It often seems as if all eyes are on me and no one could help me out of this difficult zone! I know I’m not alone on this and many have wondered if they can ever get themselves to be confident among people, especially strangers. Well, you don’t need to be shy anymore if you could just follow these simple steps to be shared below.
What exactly is shyness? I’m not going to bore you with too much talk but go straight to the point. To be shy is to be in an awkward, unpleasant, uncomfortable situation or among unfamiliar faces that one can’t behave normal. It has been reported that shyness is a sign of people with low self-esteem. It is also said that fear of what people may think or say caused by ego is also a major characteristic of shyness. How then can we improve our social relations and stop being shy?
1.) Act Confidently
One major rule when in public space is don’t behave like a coward. Don’t let people see you as an adult with baby’s feeder in your mouth. Be confident in your actions! Understand that no one can do things the way you do, you have the Midas touch.
2.) Get Involved
Be involved in what’s going on. Don’t just stand unconcerned. If someone needs help, offer to help. If an issue needs to be settled probably a quarrel between two individuals, offer your assistance in settling the quarrel. Engage!
3.) Discuss
The more you talk, the more you get better and confident at talking. No man brought it all from up there, it is developed and nurtured. What you don’t nurture, gets to die eventually. Start practicing the art of talking to people more. Talk to your family more, talk to your friends some more, then go further by learning to pick up a conversation with a stranger. Perhaps you are scared of what to say, you can start by asking questions. Don’t just stand there, looking, talk! If asking questions, please make it open ended, that way you give room for the person to express himself/herself more than just giving a yes or no answer and also it gives you time to think and come up with an appropriate point of discussion.
4.) Let go of Past Failures
Shy people tend to hide more because of past failures. Something they did and didn’t work out according to plan, especially when the expectation from people was already high and yet they failed to meet up. The feeling of disappointment, failure, rejection, and frustration pushes them to run inside and refuse to ever come out. Failure has never been the fault of any man, it is only an event that has to occur so as to show how better you could handle same thing and achieve the best result. Never hold on to your failures, everyone fails at some point, you won’t be the first, neither will you be the last. You are not a failure, cheer up and go out on a date, picnic or something, enjoy yourself, discover and explore the world!
5.) Appreciate Yourself at Every Opportunity
Little drops of water they say makes a mighty ocean. You may not have gotten there yet but each step is taking you closer to your goals. Therefore take time out to appreciate yourself. You are making progress, it may not be as fast but you are not on the same spot, be happy!
6.) Watch Others Relate with Confidence
Although there may be circumstances where imitation could be harmful but not in every case I believe. If you are finding it hard to confidently relate with people, then watch how others do it effortlessly and try imitate them. Watch their actions, their tone when speaking, their eyes, and all other stuffs that help them be confident in approaching others publicly. If they can do it, you can do it too.
7.) Dress Smart
It is often said that the way you are dressed is the way you will be addressed! Well, whatever issues you may have with that statement, the truth is there is a level of confidence that dressing smart gives. You can’t dress shabby and still expect to exude out the kind of confidence you need in public, not possible. Learn to dress smart!
8.) Believe in Yourself
No one can believe in you if as a matter of necessity you didn’t first believe in yourself. When you doubt yourself, your abilities, you make it hard for others to believe in you. Shyness like said earlier is one of the signs of low self-esteem. To overcome this,trust and believe in yourself more than anyone else. Don’t let the opinion of others be more important than your own opinion about yourself. Take you more seriously!
9.) Smile More
Going out with a hard face, as if your bread was taken from you obviously sends potential friends and helpers far away from you! There is no normal human being who has a resistance to smile! It is the most easy gift among men to give and yet the scarcely given gift. The gift of a smile could lighten up someone’s day and also your own day. Smile daily, smile every hour, smile every minute, smile every seconds. Just don’t stop smiling!
10.) Meet New People More Often
As difficult as that sounds to a shy person, it is a very effective means of improving your communication. The more you meet strangers/new people, the more you become less shy. Challenge yourself to meet at least a new person each day for the next 30 days and see how greatly you’ll have reduced your shyness.
Now, next time you are in the public, don’t feel awkward, the same way you relate with your family members is how you should relate with strangers. They are no different, they are all men. You can’t keep losing important appointments, business deals or contracts all because of shyness.
The Pen Creative World 