Category: Health

The year in 2021AD, an African country which shall forever remain unnamed, has just ordered for millions of doses of covid19m vaccines from China, yes it has always to be china since the Breton Woods became irrelevant and uncle Sam started churning out conspiracy theories. The ‘God-chosen’ government of this African country is holding a high level Media briefing to announce to its citizens how they managed to get the vaccine in good time since it cares for their lives. All the vaccines have been received and well stored in highly secured government warehouse. The mass mass vaccinations is to be commissioned by your loving president live on TV the following day. You only manage to catch the news later at nigh since you could not be at home to watch the live presser. You can’t help but give a sigh of relief and retire to bed hopping sooner you will get this  much needed jab.

The following day ou wake up to the news that some of the boxes; thousands of them containing the vaccines never made it to the government warehouses as was reported by your Minister or Secretary for health. The minister hurriedly issues another written Media dispatch and warns that all those involved in the disappearance of the vaccinates would be prosecuted and if possible be electrocuted for messing up with the lives many citizens. Before you know it those busy bodies called Nothing Going On(NGOs) and some activists- for-hire hold placards on the streets demonstrating against the theft of the vaccines,but the demo doesn’t take long in fact, the intent of the organisers is to show their foreign funders that they are working. They proceed to take selfies and some other photo Ops which they quickly upload on social media and retreat to their west end offices in the quiet suburbs of the city waiting for foreign donations to hit their accounts to facilitate more demonstrations. While there they continue to issue threats and curses to the thieves by sponsoring all manner of social media hash-tags.

As if in cue, the other stooges of the executive called The the Senate and National Parliament join the frenzy in investing the mysterious disappearance of the vaccines. They too hold countless meetings and trips soem of which to the Beijing- the source of vaccine and issue in equal measure, threats in the midst of copious amount of tea and hefty allowance running into millions. In the end you end up you local chief, the OCPD,OCS, the governors office, the local police, the DCI and a myriad of other anti-corruption bodies in the country all investigating the same theft.

While the main substance of the investigation is cacophony of accusations and counter accusations, one of the few remaining relevant local media houses carries its own parallel instigation and reports that  some of the stolen vaccines were sold to Al-shabab in Kismayu while others were sold to Boko Haram in Nigeria, by associates of one of the prominent functionaries in the government and another by a politician sitting in the investigating committee in the Senate or National Parliament. But the government would hear non of this, it comes out gun blazing in denouncing the report. It assures the public that they are on it and that no any other report other that from the government should be trusted.

Meanwhile the government goes ahead to roll out the vaccination, as it had promised starting with the doctors,the elderly and teachers, but, this a problem, there is shortage, grating to cripple the exercise. This shortage is as result of a number of factors: Since they represent you and must be healthy to serve you well, the politicians are the first to get the vaccines, followed by their girlfriends and boyfriends, both known and unknown. Next in line are their families, for as you know, behind every performing politician is a healthy family and relatives and of course girlfriend too. The public hospitals doctors and other public heath workers too upon receiving their vaccines go ahead to steal some thousands which they go horde to their desperate monied cooperate honchos in their private hospitals in some backstreet buildings in Abuja,Lilongwe, Nairobi or the prowls of Soweto. Due to this shortage, the price of one jab of the vaccine shoots like quasars from a black hole.

Still held in thought as to why this is happening to you as you walk along the streets of Dzivarasekwa Slums in Harare, Mathare in Nairobi or Wandegeya market in Kampala, you are brought back life from your deep thoughts by those irritating prerecorded voice-overs announcing mobile SIM cards; this time they are advertising Covid19 Vaccine which promises to protect you for ever and ever Amen. You reach home still thinking if indeed the vaccine being advertised is genuine. So by the time the vaccine reaches cane cutters of Kakarira,fishmongers of Kado market in Abuja or rice farmers of Ahero in Kano, you would not know which of the many vaccines in the markets is genuine, which is generic or which one is just pure water labelled as covid19 vaccine.

Suddenly you hear nothing of the once much publicize investigations on the vaccine theft. The masses of this God-forsaken country just moves on and forgets about it completely as if it never occurred in the first place.

Just, then your banana republic is about to go to the elections towards the end of 2021 or in 2022. Your local and national political animal seizes the moment of the vaccine, offering them like Holy Water in weekend medical camps which end up to be political rallies to entice you to vote for them; and because you are gullible and fickle like them all, you gladly swallow the lies and  you line up in torturous heat or drenching rain from Eight in the morning to Five in the evening to vote the same thieves back into office, to repeat the same cycle of lies, theft and deceit one more time as you curse them.

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Merry Christmas to you all from Cane Cutter.

Twitter: @CaneCutter2